The Nooner thru the Signs
The Nooner is a universal multi-cultural phenomenon, with origins in pre-history, with an outcome of undeniable satisfaction, made increasingly difficult in the modern commute-age of double-incomes. Nonetheless, we deemed it worthy of a survey, and found these stunningly consistent results.
Capricorn: Nooner on schedule, precisely twice a month.
Aquarius: Occasional Nooner, if conditions ideal, partner agreeable, and cell-phone can remain on.
Pisces: Dreams of Nooner all night. Hopes one comes along.
Aries: Sooner than Nooner, every day.
Taurus: Nooner at home, after hearty lunch , if finished with shopping and projects.
Gemini: Nooner? What's that? Oh! Great idea! When? Where? Do I need to bring anything?
Cancer: Nooner maybe, if..., but wait ... no, not now, maybe later.
Leo: Nooner in stretch-limo, cabin-cruiser, or luxury suite, with arrangements made by suitable servants.
Virgo: Nooner acceptable, if time for both to shower, before and after, and sheets are clean.
Libra: Nooner carefully considered. 50-50 chance Odds increase if an evening of dancing is promised.
Scorpio: Nooner rare, as still recovering from all-nighter.
Sagittarius: Nooner nearly impossible, as always arrives late.